Feast II Sloppy Seconds

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"You think anyone gives a shit about you?! "

Oct 15th, 2009

When I stumbled across the original Feast I quickly added itto the ranks of my DVD collection and sought out like minded horror. Fortunatly (or not as it turned out) I discovered that Feat was a trilogy and I eagerly ordered copies of the full saga. I decided to write this review not to entertain or inform but to dissuade anyone from buying this cack, these sequels scrape the bottom of the barrel.

I really enjoyed the first movie, it had a cheap look that played well as the film messed about with traditional horror conventions. I pre-ordered my copies of Feast 2 and 3 from Playusa.com as soon as I'd finished watching the first. This is where I got my first shock, over the years I have bought numerous region 1 releases but when Feast 2 arrived I had to pay an additional £10 for air tax excess which I never had before. The moral here is buy your region 1 releases off eBay, no tax there. After shelling out more than I paid for the DVD the film had a lot to live up to.

This one takes place moments after the end of the first Feast, as our "heroes" drive off into the sunset leaving us behind at the remains of the bar. Somehow the bartender survived, I say somehow, this sequel is populated with relatives of the Director and he just happens to be one. He's found by the biker girl's (from the first flick) twin sister, a biker queen who is out for revenge (how does this work out in the film's timeline? She only died 5 minutes ago) and they travel to a nearby town which just happens to be populated by the same creatures, Doy.

Trilogies seem to be exploding all over the horror universe and at first I couldn't wait to see this. When the film started the look of it almost ruined this for me. This film looks like crap, the original wasn't the most spectacular looking film but it was better looking than this. If you log onto YouTube I'm sure you'll find homemade videos that look better. Add in the fact that the majority of this film takes place in broad daylight, making the cheap effects all the more noticeable. When I saw the first film I was impressed with the look of the creatures but here they really do look like men in suits, hardly threatening.

Clearly threatening is not what this was going for, this doesn't even attempt solid comedy – the only function here is to gross the audience out. I'm gonna list the type of bullshit anyone who watches this is going to witness and while certain things may peak your interest believe me none are pulled off with any style. We get a cat being raped by the creatures, a group of innocent survivors gunned down by the characters we are following, (I had no care for them past this point), one character has their head shoved in a toilet full of shit, there is a creature autopsy that results in an ejaculation over the female characters and to top off all this nonsense a new born baby is thrown to its death in graphic detail.

In trying to imitate the survival ratings from the first, characters here have brief music video introductions but they have no purpose and actually detract from the main storyline. I find it hard to pick out anything that I actually enjoyed, on occasion I would chuckle and I did like the addition of the two midget luchadors.

On the horror scale this also fails, being set as the middle of a trilogy hardly any of the characters die, instead being saved for the next installment. Why they felt the need to do this when it would have been just as simple to introduce a new batch of simpletons is beyond me. The film ends on a cliff-hanger but it didn't have me clamoring for more.

On a side note my favourite character from the first, (aside from Jason Mewes) Honey Pie makes an appearance here. Jenny Wade does her best but is relegated to a cameo which had me fuming. Not only was her name plastered on the cover of the DVD (like Katherine Isabelle in Ginger Snaps Unleashed) but she was part of the poster design (one which mimicked the original). I hate when moviemakers feel the need to dupe audiences in order to get them to watch their product. If they put as much effort into making a good movie this wouldn't be needed.

The title of this is apt – Sloppy seconds is all you get. Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton returned to write this but as time has shown they have a poor track record. I have seen the next installment and it's slightly better than this. Only watch this if you have to and then make sure your hammered. 2/10

Best Kill
I would say Honey but watch to the end of the credits

The dead baby is also related to Gulager
Made for DVD
Not available in the UK – Lets hope it stays that way

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